ahlul jannati. Ameen.


Monday, 2 June 2014

Ramadhan and Change (See you soon!)

A few days more, we will be there in the holiest month in the Islamic calendar- a month in which the holy Quran was revealed. I am sure most of us are very excited, and we are exhilarated by the sense of doing good deeds. Though, some might be really nervous questioning if Allah still gives them the chances to beutify themselves in that month. Or, am I the only one who ought to feel that way? Please say nay. (/Awkward Smile/) I hope others feel the same thing. Lately I feel really anxious between death and Ramadhan- I am really worried if Izrail greets me first before Ramadhan 1435H does. This is so appaling because I am utterly not ready for death so I pray to Allah for your health, and my ownself. May we still have the chance(s) to greet Ramadhan, In sha Allah.

Well, if I looked back at my Ramadhan experiences (this year will be my 19th Ramadhan, if Allah wills it), I did not really paying attention to make sustainable changes. I just did the things that people generally do on Ramadhan without holistic understanding. I saw people went to the mosque and performed tarawih, so I decided to do so. I acknowledged that a few Makcik and Mama recited the Holy Quran in a group (tadarus), so I made up my mind to join that kind of occasion. I just learned the things that are happening around me without even perceive the intended meaning. I guess because of my attitudes which frequently immersed in the actions even without understanding, so at the end I just slipped back into my old routines. I am a weak person- Not gained any wisdom. All praise is due to Allah who has given me such respect in your eyes and has hid my humanly flaws and mistakes.


My educational history are not in the field of Islamic studies, I never went to Madrasah or any Islamic educational institution. Back then when I was sixteen, I got an offer from SBPI but I do not know where on earth this SBPI is- Never heard of it, never imagined to end my school session at that school. I never thought that I will be in that kind of environment- Where the muslimah quintessential covered her aurah, and I could be friends with students who learnt Arabics, Quran Sunnah etc (How finely Allah has created, I really have high expections for them).

Finally I got the fortuity to breath in Biah Solehah (islamic environment) even for only two years. Alhamdulillah I got the chances to spend my Ramadhan there when I was at my teen ages of 16 and 17 ( I was in technical science stream). At that stages, I realised that Ramadhan is the prime time to change. I hope He finds me as authentic as how I feel. It seemed to happen so sudden and drastic in the eyes of the public but trust me, it took time to open my eyes to feel this way.


Ramadhan is not about you went to bazaar and buy murtabak. Ramadhan is not about you being lazy in front of the computer and remain sluggish looking at the slow ticking of clock. Ramadhan is not only about you fasting at the day, and waiting till it is time to break the fast. Ramadhan is not about you went to Kamdar and buy new cloths for Hari Raya.

Ramadhan is the month of change.

Change. How ironically the word is, right? Change is being demanded by the masses deteriorating due to the concept of Malaysian taxes ie GST. Change is being chanted by the politicians by promising all sort of manifestos.

Change, is momentous indeed.

So, when we talk about Ramadhan- Have you ever wonder why we are able to fast throughout the month and perhaps attend tarawih most of the nights? We can easily give sadaqah and talking less? But after that month passed, the motivational balloons get deflated. Even waking up for fajr is really difficult. Bear in your mind, if those kind of circumstances happen to you, you are not changing for better. Ramadhan should be the month which dramatically alters our routines to be better after that month.

Yes. We should not be the slave of Ramadhan but we should make Ramadhan the month of 'change'. The real change- Which emphasized the internal change that transform us positively in many aspects for instances characters, attitudes, lifestyle, conversations and so on.

Ask yourself, how can you get that spirit back to make long lasting, sustainable changes in your life? I could not give you the answer, because I believe that although there are tips and advices that were given, nonetheless without your 'willingness', everything is becoming nought.

Try to make this Ramadhan different from our previous Ramadhan, try to make ourselves feel excited throughout the month like we are going on a date and after the month passed, please married with the good deeds you have did on that period- Make a change!

So, I've decided to stick with a few targets that I would like to achieve throughout the month and remain istiqamah the days ahead. One of the targets is- I will devoted myself more on memorizing rather than surfing the internet. Because I've realised that I spent so much time on internet and that turns me into a procrastinating person. With that, I would abstain myself from being online too long and cure my addiction to internet. I should ponder upon the real world out there and I need time to value myself more. In Sha Allah I would be of more help in the future. I think I should not wait for Ramadhan to start a new step, guess I better take a move starting from the moment I wrote this. 

Oh you who have believed, decreed upon you is fasting as it was decreed upon those before you that you may become righteous. |QURAN [2:183]

Pray for me,
Pray for the Ummah,
May Allah S.W.T safeguard us from the fitna of dunya.

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

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